The Self-Help Book that Doesn't Tell You to Set Goals
A review of Trevor Blake's Three Simple Steps
Three Simple Steps is an unconventional self-help book. To my surprise, none of the steps were the typical self-help clichés. No setting goals or tracking habits. No work until you drop motivation speeches.
The guy who wrote it, Trevor Blake, is a literal rags-to-riches story. He authored this book to teach the three most important practices that he believes made all the difference in his success in life. He said all profits made from the book are donated to charity and he donated a copy to every library in the US (I borrowed a copy from my local library). Trevor points out that some of the most famous self-help gurus didn't achieve such success until they started selling their own brand of self-help. Ironic. He spends a few pages criticizing Napoleon Hill and "Think and Grow Rich" in particular.
Before we go into the three steps, who is Trevor Blake? Why should we listen to him?
Trevor grew up in poverty in Britain. His family lived in a shabby farmhouse in Wales and constantly had money problems. Utilities like electricity or the phone line were frequently cut off after multiple missed payments. His mom would cook meals over an open fire.
His father, Henry, was a drifter and chronic smoker who went through a string of failed ventures. He sometimes committed fraud, such as misleading customers to overspend at a tire shop and stealing insurance funds. He showed little warmth towards his kids. After Audrey's passing Trevor had a strained relationship with his dad that never recovered. When Trevor went to visit him, he would just say "Hello, son.". Henry eventually met another woman and lived with her until his death (I'm curious how such deadbeats find sugar mammas). It's implied that Trevor didn't attend his funeral and almost no one else did either.
His mother, Audrey, survived the German air raids of WW II and lost her own father in a tragic bombing when she was a teenager. She took on menial jobs like scrubbing stair steps to support her siblings and mother who had a nervous breakdown. She later met Henry who worked at a bank at the time, married, and had kids. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer at an early age. Despite the cancer she was incredibly upbeat and strong-willed. She worked at a delicatessen part-time to support her family and walked herself there between cancer treatments. Despite the doctor's prognosis that she would die shortly, she went on to live on for many more years to see her children grow up and graduate school. Trevor credits his mother for instilling in him the right values in life. Her funeral was packed with people. One attendee was quiet man who credited her for saving his family when she helped them out with chores after his wife passed away. He went on to put fresh flowers on her grave every single week.
Trevor had a rough childhood and not just at home. The local kids in Wales disliked Trevor because he and his family immigrated from England. They would tear his clothes and push him into mud. In one incident they ganged up on him, stripped him naked, and wrote obscenities all over his body with sharp pens. He rushed home and tried to wash it off as best as he could before his parents found out.
His dream growing up was to join the Royal Navy, become an officer, and travel the world. He would watch travel shows with his mom on TV and dreamed of having that life for himself. Everyone told him he was delusional. Rich kids, the sons of aristocrats and politicians, became officers in the Royal Navy. Not a poverty-stricken kid in Wales with zero connections. The counselor at Trevor's school suggested he apply for a job at a chicken packing factory instead. The only person who believed in him, you guessed it, was his mom.
As a young man, he and his mom went to a local Royal Navy office for his application. The officer there said in not-so-subtle terms that Trevor was an unlikely candidate and shouldn't attempt it. Audrey, using all her might despite her frail body, stared the officer down and insisted that Trevor have an application to fill out.
To everyone's great surprise, the Royal Navy officer program accepted Trevor and gave him a rare scholarship. He went through brutal physical challenges and trials with high failure rates. One was a many days’ trip through freezing mountains where they carried huge loads and slept in cold temperatures. You could drop out anytime but doing so meant failure to graduate. Trevor was one of the few to finish.
Trevor was later given leadership assignments. At 19 years old he was leading an experienced division of 40 specialists and had to figure out what to do as he explains in this excerpt.
“I broke the divisional tasks down to its three key elements of logistics, engineering, and seamanship. Then I read through personnel reports to find people who could be the expert functional leaders. Some of them took a lot of cajoling, but I encouraged them to follow my approach and break their function down to its three core elements, and recruit experts in each task, all the while encouraging each task leader to break their task down into its three core technical details and recruit skilled people to perform them, etc. I had no idea how to do any of the things I was asking them to do because I had yet to be trained for them.
I stopped the downward spiral of what everyone was against and got them thinking about what they were for, which was to be the best division again. To be the best, each had to be the best in his role, either as a functional leader or a technical worker. It was a success, and within six months the division was ranked number one in all parameters.”
With his initial success, Trevor got his pick of assignments and had the opportunity to travel all around the world. Just as Trevor was the cusp of his success with the Navy offering him to captain a ship, he turned it down so he could be closer to his mom who was nearing death.
While spending time at the cancer ward, Trevor met a nurse who became his future wife. Trevor himself started working at the hospital. Through a series of strange coincidences, he went on to a lucrative career in pharmaceutical sales, immigrated to the US, and then innovated hugely profitable "virtual" pharmaceutical companies that had no actual employees. All the major functions were outsourced and coordinated by Trevor.
Trevor is smart and widely read. He credits three key habits for his success and all those strange coincidences that brought his dreams to come to life. What's even better is that these habits are straightforward and don't cost anything! He calls it the Three Simple Steps.
The Three Simple Steps
Ok, now we know Trevor's story what do you need to do to achieve magic in your own life?
Step 1 is controlling your own mentality and having a "Mental Shield"
Trevor said he learned this lesson from watching a pro golfer interviewed on TV. The reporter asked him how he dealt with hostile crowds or criticism. The pro responded that he just imagines himself protected inside a glass jar. Whatever insults, garbage, or negativity thrown his way hits the shield, not him.
“Imagine an invisible shield like a glass cloak descends from the sky and lightly covers your whole body. You can see perfectly well through it, and only you know it is there. It is made of the highest positive energy. Nothing anyone says can penetrate it. Negative emotions simply bounce off. You can imagine their words hitting it and exploding into meaningless letters. Their complaints disintegrate into nothing. No one in that room can get thoughts or images through to impact your state of mind.”
Trevor said this was a huge insight for him and he immediately put it to use. It's the way you get yourself out of the "quicksand" of life. He tuned out negative news and advertisements, negative talk, complainers, and people who didn't support or believe in him. This allowed him to focus on opportunities instead of problems.
Besides the mental shield, you can create a mental retreat for yourself imagining a calm and relaxing place you explore. Like a beach, or woods, or majestic mountains. Know visits this place but you. Think about this special retreat when you're bored or stressed about something.
The entire essence of step one can be summarized by a quote from Mother Theresa, Trevor explains.
“When asked her opinion on a particular conflict, Mother Theresa said, “I am not against war. I am for peace.” In that marvelous statement is the distillation of a dozen subjects from quantum physics to theology, and it is the essence of this first step. If you read the rest of this first step, and grasp nothing more than the meaning of this sentence, you would have enough knowledge to make a big difference in your life.”
In short: No one should control your mind but you. Remember your mental shield. Instead of focusing on avoiding what you don’t want, exclusively focus on what you *do* want.
Step 2 is Taking Quiet Time.
Trevor says people skip this step and it's a critical mistake. Trevor believes Taking Quiet Time is an essential practice to rewire neurons in the brain and condition the mind to be ready for powerful insights.
He suggests doing it alone and first thing in the morning for about 20 minutes.
Start by sitting in a comfortable space. You can warm yourself with a blanket if you want.
Do a quick energy cleansing as follows. Trevor admits it sounds weird, but that people naturally cover their eyes and drag their hands across their face to relieve stress.
“Place a palm on each side of your forehead and drag your hands down your cheeks. Shake your hands as if air-drying them. Do this three times. Repeat for the crown of your head three times. Then cross your arms and brush your hands over the opposite shoulders and upper arms”
Take deep breaths and exhale with a sigh. You can do a body scan as well where you briefly focus on each body part while relaxing it.
Next, you can "connect" with the ground below you with your feet with a short visualization.
“This is another Native American technique that allows your mind to be more fully in the present. It reduces some of the chatter in your head. Simply spend a few seconds taking your awareness down to your feet. Imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet and down through the floor, through the walls, into the foundation, down into the soil, and farther down toward the Earth’s core.”
Now the most important part:
“When you feel relaxed, it is time to distract your left brain. The goal is to think of nothing. This is unnatural. Focus on your normal breathing—in and out. Just as you did when committing to change, follow it with your imagination as it goes in through the nose, curling into the lungs, and back out. Keep stillness. Try to do nothing but follow the breathing. Counting in and out is fine. This time, we are not going for deep breaths. Breathe normally. Follow the air with your concentration. Do this for around ten to twenty minutes. You don’t need to keep formal time. Your mind will tell you when it has recharged sufficiently. If you are like most people, you follow your breath a few times, and then suddenly realize that your mind has drifted back to some everyday thought. Don’t fret. That is your ego, indignant about being set aside. It happens to everyone. Just smile and refocus on your breath. Get stillness back. Taking quiet time works in ways we don’t need to understand, so just enjoy this wonderful personal time.”
When you're done you can do a light stretch and smile.
The goal is not to achieve silence but to achieve stillness.
“Keep in mind that the aim is not to stop thinking for twenty minutes. Only mystics can achieve that. Attempt to take quiet time daily, nothing more”
So, what's the benefit of doing all of this? Trevor claims he had an explosion of insights and ideas and credits this practice.
“Within a few weeks, I noticed marked changes in my ability to solve puzzles and challenges. While I was sitting in a meeting room while my peers wrestled with an issue, an insight would pop into my head. Where it came from I could not say, but often I left the people in the room stunned by the clarity of the solution. I was equally stunned, but smart enough not to admit it. Over the years, I heard other people describe these moments of insight as brilliant or uncanny, and I developed a reputation as something of a troubleshooter. I found myself being sought after to join other teams’ projects.”
His own wife could tell if Trevor missed a session because the quality of his thoughts and decisions would deteriorate. Trevor later said he produced his first entrepreneur idea that became a breakthrough success in a sudden flash. It happened at an airport while returning home after leaving his sales job because of a fallout with his boss.
Trevor stresses that Step 1 needs to be practiced consistently otherwise the benefits of Step 2 will be reduced. Make sure to have control of your mentality and make use of your mental shield.
Besides taking quiet time, Trevor recommends spending time each day walking outdoors and in the sunshine. It's the best way to plug into the matrix and "recharge" the spirit.
Personally, I don’t think all the “grounding” exercises are entirely necessary, but I do find the feet one helpful. The key part is taking time to be quiet and still.
In short: Take 20 minutes each morning to be alone and sit still. Focus on your breathing. Let your mind settle and clear. This will path the way to better insights. Spend quality time outdoors with nature too.
Step 3 is having the right Intentions.
Instead of goals, you want to set Intentions. You want to act as if your dreams are already achieved. Trevor calls this a state of knowing.
“Eventually, belief is replaced by a sense of knowing that whatever you desire you can create, and you are a wizard with the ability to have anything you want any time you want, with a little focused imagination.”
He gives an analogy of going through life like a warrior or like a wizard. Warriors set goals and fight tooth and nail until they achieve it. Wizards, on the other hand, simply imagine and create the reality they want. They don't have to fight for it.
Trevor points out how self-help gurus often use the story of a study that says only 3% of a graduating class at Yale wrote written goals and they were more successful than the other 97% combined. The only problem is that no study like that took place.
“An intention is a goal but with all doubt about its attainment removed. Baby steps are not needed because there is no doubt about getting what we desire. Instead of creeping toward it, we can simply sit back and let it come running to us. The main difference, therefore, between intentions and goals is direction of effort. With goals, we push energy toward the object. With intentions, we pull or attract the object to us.”
What makes an Intention different? The Three P's.
Make it past tense. Make it positive. Make it personal.
Don't be afraid to think big.
“Intentions are as powerful as a magic wand and we have to exercise caution in how we use them. They are in the first person such as I have, I am, I won, I got.”
For example, let's say your dream was to visit Paris someday. Trevor says to expand on that and to touch on different elements: financial, achievement, lifestyle, and material. Below is an example Trevor provides.
I have two hundred thousand dollars in my checking account.
I rented out my house for one year to perfect tenants for five thousand dollars a month.
I traveled safely around Europe for that one year and spent spring in Paris.
I traveled first-class and lived luxuriously all the way.
I spoke French fluently and was complimented by the locals for my fine grasp of their language.
What do you do with your intentions?
You can spend a few minutes writing them out in the morning. You can imagine the scenarios or say them aloud after taking quiet time. You can write them on a whiteboard you see every day.
“Keep a written list of Intentions in your wallet or handbag. Have a file in your computer, tablet device, and phone. Never be far removed physically or mentally from your Intentions.”
Trevor explains you don’t have to believe in Intentions, you just need to have them, reinforce it every day, and see what happens.
“When you trust in the process, you become an enthusiastic creator. When you succeed a few times, belief replaces doubt and hope quite naturally, and you grow into an active creator. Eventually, belief is replaced by a sense of knowing that whatever you desire you can create, and you are a wizard with the ability to have anything you want any time you want, with a little focused imagination.”
One critical point: Trevor stresses that you must keep your Intentions private. He gives an analogy that making an Intention is throwing a pebble in a still pond. It will create gentle ripple effects that will eventually reach shore. If you tell others, even if they mean well, they will be throwing pebbles into the same pond which create their own ripples and interfere with yours. Trevor takes it so seriously he doesn't even tell his wife. He's seen examples of people blabbing their personal Intentions and it all fell through.
The point is you want to have your mind latch on to the future you want. Combined with Steps 1 and Steps 2 you will start to see patterns and coincidences that connect dots in ways you'd never predict. Like how Trevor couldn't get a CEO to sign off on a critical deal that he needed to launch his company. Trevor decided to attend a conference uninvited and wandered around for days. He eventually bumped into him in a hallway at an industry conference after everyone else had left and they made a handshake deal within minutes.
In short: Make a list of personal desires you want in your life in past tense and positive terms. Remind yourself of these intentions each day and see what dots connect to bring you closer.
The spiraling staircase
There’s an analogy that Trevor makes a few times in the book. It's about how changes in life can be imperceptible and seem like it's taking you backwards at times. He calls it the spiraling staircase metaphor. You're already aware that the spiral moves you in rotating directions while raising you to a higher level. He says it's the same in life even if we can't see it at the time.
“In my life, achievement has often come the way of the winding staircase. It is all too easy to become discouraged when we can’t see, and therefore believe, we are heading in the right direction. You have to trust in the way of the winding staircase because, when it comes to success, seeing is not believing, but believing leads to seeing. When you commit to change, it means staying on the staircase, no matter what. It is the unshakeable belief I discovered in every successful self-made person I read about”
Recap
Step 1: Have a mental shield. Focus on what you want. Don’t be “against war”, be “for peace”.
Step 2: Take 20 minutes each morning to be still and quiet. Focus on your breathing.
Step 3: Have a list of personal, positive desires in the past tense. These are your Intentions. Don’t share them but keep them in mind each day.
It sounds esoteric, but Trevor is adamant that combining these practices doesn’t take that much effort and can make you go further than you imagined.
I plan to do these myself and see what happens.
[A shout out to Tej Dosa for recommending this book to me!]
Fantastic newsletter with some unique strategies that you do not usually hear about! Also, it was very interesting to read about Trevor Blake's life and how he overcame the challenges in his life.